Stage 3 of 10

Retention

The hurt is being kept alive.

What Can I Do Here?

1
Notice what you keep holding. Ask, “What part of this wrong am I refusing to let go?”
2
Ask why you are still holding it. Does something still need to be faced and corrected? Or do you need to keep the other person guilty in your mind?
3
Deal with what can be dealt with. Have the needed conversation. Seek help. Set a wise boundary. Seek justice when needed. Begin giving to God what you cannot change.

Ephesians 4:26–27

Anger must not be allowed to remain and gain room in our lives.

Leviticus 19:17–18

God joins honest correction with the command not to take revenge or keep a grudge.

Colossians 3:13

Because the Lord forgave us, we are called to forgive others.

Ask, “Am I remembering because something still needs to be made right, or am I keeping the case open because I do not want to release it?”

“A healed memory is not a deleted memory.” Forgiveness does not erase the past. It changes the hold that the past has on us.

— Lewis B. Smedes

There is a difference between remembering a wound and keeping it alive.

A Way Forward

See where an unhealed hurt can go next.