Stage 5 of 10
Accumulation
New hurts are being added to old hurts.
What Can I Do Here?
- 1
Keep today’s problem in today. Ask, “What belongs to this problem, and what am I bringing into it from older hurts?”
- 2
Be careful with “always” and “never.” Do not bring every past failure into one present disagreement.
- 3
Deal with hurts before they pile up. A number of small hurts can become one large case against a person if they are never faced honestly.
Biblical Truth
1 Corinthians 13:5
Love does not keep a record of wrongs in order to use them against another person.
Matthew 7:3–5
Jesus tells us to examine ourselves carefully while dealing with another person’s wrong.
Proverbs 19:11
Wisdom knows that some offenses can be overlooked instead of being kept and enlarged.
Put It Into Practice
In the next disagreement, talk first about what happened now. If an older matter truly remains unresolved, deal with it separately rather than mixing everything together.
Key Thought
When new hurts are added to old ones, one small problem can begin carrying the weight of many years.